The Plot Thickens...
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All right, here's the quick rundown of the plot I promised you.  [Note:  This is the main plot, and does not cover the little sub plots]  The king (Hamlet's dad) is dead.  Hamlet comes home from college and they have a funeral for the king.  Then, in no time flat, the king's brother, Claudius, marries Queen Gertrude (Hamlet is not happy).  Meanwhile (at the ranch), some night watchmen have been seeing a ghost walk around during their shift, so they go tell Horatio.  Horatio figures that it is the ghost of the king, and tells Hamlet about it.  Hamlet goes to see the ghost, and the ghost tells Hamlet that he (the king) was murdered by a certain uncle...  That's right; it was Claudius.  Hamlet gets really mad.  He can't really do much about the situation, though.  I mean, he could just walk up, draw his sword, and kill Claudius, but then Hamlet would be guilty of treason.  So, Hamlet waits a while, and then he starts to question whether the ghost was really his father.  Maybe it was some evil thing, wanting him to kill an innocent man.  While all this time has been passing, Hamlet is acting stranger and stranger.  Some think he is angry, or insane, or even so madly in love with Ophelia that he's gone bananas.  Hamlet, ignoring everyone else, comes up with a plan to determine whether Claudius is guilty or not.  The ghost told Hamlet that Claudius poured some poison in his ear while he was sleeping in the orchard.  So, Hamlet puts on a play, where the plot is that the brother of the king poisons the king's ear while he is sleeping in the orchard.  Then, he marries the queen.  Now, Hamlet's whole plan is based on the belief that if Claudius is guilty, he will not be able to sit through the whole play.  So, right after the play comes to where the brother grabs the queen, Claudius has a bit of an attack.  The only ones that know why are Hamlet and Horatio; everyone else just thinks that the king is having a bad night.  So, now Hamlet starts plotting to do in his evil uncle/step father.  Somewhere along the line, Claudius decides to do in Hamlet by sending him someplace with his two friends (which are now working for Claudius).  When they get where they're going, the friends will give an envelope to the ruler that bears a message along the lines of "Kill Hamlet."  On the boat trip, Hamlet switches envelopes; the new message orders the execution of Hamlet's so called friends.  Then Hamlet makes his way home.  While he has been away, Ophelia has gone insane and drowned in the river.  Hamlet gets back (and Horatio has joined him) and they are both walking towards the grave yard.  A couple of grave diggers are digging a grave, and for some odd reason that I cannot remember, they are digging where some people are already buried.  So, as Hamlet and Horatio walk up, these two "clowns" (they are called clowns in the play), are digging up bones and tossing them all over the place.  Out pops the skull of Yorick, which Hamlet picks up and gives his "Alas poor Yorick..." speech.  So, he finishes his speech and up comes the funeral procession with Ophelia ready to be buried.  Hamlet is surprised and angry to find out the Ophelia is dead.  Laertes is mad to see Hamlet, whom he blames for his sister's insanity.  Claudius is very much surprised because Hamlet is supposed to be dead.  Well, some more non important stuff happens and Hamlet is challenged to a fencing match with Laertes.  Laertes is now definitely working with the king to kill Hamlet.  They come up with so many ways they're going to kill him that it's funny.  So, at the end of the play, Hamlet and Laertes are fighting.  Claudius accidentally poisons the queen (he meant to poison Hamlet).  Laertes scratches Hamlet with his sword (which is poison tipped).  Hamlet grabs the sword and does the same to Laertes.  The queen dies.  Laertes realizes Hamlet is the good guy and Claudius is the baddy.  Hamlet forces Claudius to drink the poison, then Claudius dies.  Laertes apologizes to Hamlet, and dies.  Hamlet makes a big death speech and dies.  Fortinbras comes in, sees everyone dead, makes a few comments to Horatio, then...  The end.  There you have the general gist of the plot.  Hope it helps you understand just what's going on.

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